7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what
really makes
a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do
you think you always
need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than
variety in a relationship.
The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by
improving the level
of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This
goes against
the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance
alive. Sure, going to
a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all,
we need things to be
consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that
trust in a relationship
is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means
that your
partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you
are happy but you
are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your
face and the tone in your voice.
Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match
the message, you build
trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If
you don’t you won’t have
the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth
is never destructive.
When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or
indeed, anything), you
violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and
open. Assume everything
you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part.
That is energy that
could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make
him or her guess what
you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not
selfish. Indeed, if you
are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite
direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a
good thing. But you don’t
need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never
say no. Refusing to be
subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in
the dirt. Digging
in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through
that pain, we prepare the
soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.
These become the fertilizer
for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a
little pain.
But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an
individual, you will
also strengthen your coupledom.
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